Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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