Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
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Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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