In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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