The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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