Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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