she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
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My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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