Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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