Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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