Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
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I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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