Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your penis caused this!
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