No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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