I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize