Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize