im holly from the hills drunk
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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