just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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