Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I cut my penus on the lid.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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