i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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