A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize