It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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