please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I supernannyed him into submission
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