I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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