He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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