I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize