i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need water and some morals
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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