ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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