AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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