Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this just has baby written all over it
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He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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