I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize