So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize