a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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