he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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