Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize