I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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