i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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