We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize