I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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