i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize