is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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