some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
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Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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