I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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