You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize