They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
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She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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