nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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