Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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