Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize