Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize