buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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