His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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