Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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