Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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